L/R Original Soundtrack: Vocal Sideby Rebecca HenelyReviews may contain information that could be considered 'spoilers'. Readers should proceed at their own risk. Recording label
Credits Grade: 4 A few days ago, I watched the film My Fair Lady as research for an article that I may be writing for the Sequential Tart. After seeing that, and then listening to this soundtrack, the words of Professor Henry Higgins come to mind, "Why can't people learn to speak?"Don't get me wrong. Shinji Kakizima, Fukuju, Yoshiki Fukuyama, Sumitada Azumano, Kosei Asami, Satoshi Tazawa, and KONTA are all wonderful singers. I'm sure that they all do great work in Japan, but hopefully when they do that work they sing Japanese. None of them can sing in English. None of them should sing in English again after this atrocity of a soundtrack. The songs sound like they were done by people with speech impediments. "L" and "R" are often substituted for each other. Sometimes "R" is even replaced with "W". Two lines of music that are supposed to be (according to the lyrics sheet) "Anything that you want ... will come true/Play like a King. Work like a President" come out more like, "Anthin that you want ... will come to/Pray like a King... Worka like Prestent." Kurt Cobain looks like a master of pronunciation compared to this. Now, some people may accuse me of being racist for saying so. I disagree. I know a lot of it comes from accents, but frankly, the girl who sang Kom Susser Tod from Neon Genesis Evangelion had perfect English. And going further, what about Celine Dion? Shakira? Neither of them have English as their native language and somehow they manage to put out English albums that sound worlds better than this. The terrible pronunciation makes the soundtrack hard enough to bear, but the lyrics make it even worse. Here's a "gem" from The law of perfect pride (and what does that mean, anyway?): "The world has many faces, and like a diamond shines/Let's enjoy the mess! Jump into the soup!/All your trouble are a piece of cake." I swear I'm not just aping the "All your base" craze. That's really what it says. Want another one? Here are a few lines from Tell me something true: "Sittin' in small space/Filled by smoke/Everybody choke/It's like stuck myself in a heavy jail." Now, I know English is nothing like Japanese and that translation of any sort is difficult. But couldn't the translators have at least used correct grammar? You know what the sad part of this all is? The music is actually pretty good, if derivative. Luck will turn someday reminds me a bit of a Bruce Springsteen song, especially the guitar and harmonica parts. Also, Five-eights seemed to be channeling The Beatles, and I really liked the music for The law of perfect pride. It made me want to get off my exercise machine and start dancing. However, when I started listening to the lyrics of all of these songs, I wanted the original singers back. (And if somebody is so unintelligible that you want Bruce Springsteen to sing instead, then you know they're bad.) There are a two good songs on the album, however. The song Wishing Moment/Negainotoki ~ TV EDIT was sweet, mostly because Mikako Takahashi thankfully decided to sing in Japanese. Go where no one's gone before, was also good but since that was sung by somebody named "Billy Preston", I'm willing to bet he's had some experience with English. His lyricist Scott Matthew also sounded like he had some English experience. Still, two decent songs hardly make a good album. Thus I can't recommend L/R Original Soundtrack: Vocal Side. Most of the singing is absolutely atrocious to the point that this soundtrack isn't even good as background music, and even the best songs on the album are derivative. Don't buy this. No, really. Don't. Written: January 7, 2004
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