Star Wars: Attack of the Clonesby Katherine KellerReviews may contain information that could be considered 'spoilers'. Readers should proceed at their own risk. Studio
Credits Grade: 5 Attack of the Clones is a better movie than The Phantom Menace. Then again, it's not that hard to be better than one of the worst movies ever made.AotC is not a good movie. It is a mediocre one. Where to begin, where to begin .... My first major annoyance is that it contains several scenes that exist solely to provide "cool" effects sequences. This is the antithesis of the first trilogy, in which the story dictated the effects, and thus those sequences had real dramatic and aesthetic impact. The first major chase sequence in the movie not only screams "video game", but it's also rather boring, and reminded me a lot of Fifth Element, a movie I loathe with a passion that defies words. Later in the movie, another "dramatic" chase sequence had me almost crying with laughter. For the purposes of providing another effects sequence, Anakin and Amidala are trapped inside a droid making factory. Their trials and tribulations reminded me of similar scenes from the comedies Galaxy Quest ("Whoever wrote this episode should die!") and Chicken Run. In fact, as Amidala suffers her moment of greatest danger, all I could think was, "But I don't want to be a pie! I don't like gravy." Another thing that really irritated me concerns the inconsistencies in the use of the Force. When it is convenient to have a cool effects sequence, the characters can suddenly lift very heavy objects with the Force. However, when it would be very convenient to lift and throw a smaller object, such as a rampaging animal or knocking down droids like bowling pins, to escape immediate danger this is not done often enough. Why not? If Luke Skywalker can pick up an X-Wing fighter, and Yoda can catch and move a metal pillar the size of a train engine, surely Anakin or Obi-Wan can pick up a nasty animal with lots of teeth and deposit it somewhere else, no? Harrison Ford once joked that George Lucas should be tied to a chair and made to read his own dialog. Wooden doesn't begin to describe the lines in several key scenes. This is very detrimental to the movie, especially when it comes to creating a believable romance between Anakin and Amidala. Because of the laughably awful lines, the chemistry between the two characters is like oil and water. Not only does the cringe worthy dialog (and lackluster plot) make it hard to have any emotional involvement with the characters and their world, there is the question of the characters themselves. Take Anakin Skywalker for example .... Part of what made the first trilogy so compelling is its reinvention of Classical Epic. The flipside of Classical Epic is the Classical Tragedy, in which an otherwise good and upright person is destroyed through a flaw in their character. If one looks at the great literary villains, one will see that they are all failed heroes. All of their noble traits and virtues are poisoned and twisted by one crucial flaw. This is not the case with Anakin Skywalker. He is a whiney, undisciplined, spoiled brat and something of a sociopath. He has all the the charm and personal pragmatism of a slug. He has no height from which to fall, and thus, his seduction by the dark side will be no tragedy. What Amidala sees in the horny little creep is beyond me. From what we've seen of him so far, turning to the Dark Side will not be a fall, but rather a big step up for Anakin. Darth Vader is restrained, disciplined, resourceful, and above all, he doesn't whine. I found John Willams' score particularly annoying. Actually, the fault is not with the score, but in its application. The music becomes very intrusive. It's as if George Lucas is trying to beat us over the head with the fact that he wants this movie to be a powerful, dramatic epic. It isn't. It's a mish-mash of parts. And the clumsy use of music simply reminds us of that all the more. Now, all that said, there are a few things I did like about AotC. The last 20 minutes of the movie features some beautifully choreographed fight sequences. Yoda and Mace Windu kick butt. Jar Jar Binks shows up to irritate the hell out of us for less than ten minutes of screen time. And, despite the fact that it creates a few huge continuity errors, I really enjoyed the Jango and Boba Fett story line. Jango and Boba's relationship is one of the few in the movie that rings true. Both actors have good dialog, and we aren't beaten over the head with their relationship. Jango Fett is certainly no angel, but he clearly cares for his son, and Boba worships the ground his father walks on. Both actors give good, understated performances. I kind of wished we spent more time with them — but George Lucas would've found a way to screw that story up given enough time, so it's a good thing we didn't. Although AotC is nowhere near as stunningly awful as TPM, it's worth a matinee viewing at best. It provides enough "popcorn movie" entertainment value to make it worth one viewing. However, given the drastic corrosion that George Lucas' skills have undergone since the first trilogy wrapped, I hold out little hope for the third episode, which I suspect will be called something like "Anakin — Evil Now!" and have a plot no less deep than that title. Written: May 20, 2002
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